[Once, when he had been at the Jedi Academy with the other boys his age, another boy had told him that he would never live up to the legacy of his family. The words were said easily, spitefully, and Ben (for he had been Ben at the time, and he thinks of that person as someone separate from his current identity) had been unable to respond. His uncle had intervened. The callous boy who would later die at Kylo Ren's hand was sent to his room, and Ben received a lesson about how Jedi, even in the face of cruelty, cannot act on revenge. Revenge, he said, is the path to the dark side.
He recalls how frustrated Ben felt that day, sent to his own room soon after. Unsurprising now is the fact that even then, Ben would throw tantrums, would allow his knuckles to go white as he picked up one thing after another in his room. He remembers centering himself with his anger in his training, allowing himself to be blinded as he picked up his training sword and brought it down upon one of the other kids. He remembers the derision from his uncle, a man who never realized how much strength he could gain from this power, from this anger, from giving in to the emotions unfurling inside of him—
Or perhaps he was so tainted by the light that he could not see. Light blinds, but darkness shows the way. Ren has known this for some time.
Revenge is the last thing he denies himself now. When news of the girl's disappearance spreads throughout the First Order, Kylo Ren allows himself to give in to that desire. He's certain that when he finds FN-2187, he will be able to find the path to the girl—and perhaps Luke Skywalker himself. All signs point to that being likely, what with her absence. But more than that, it's necessary to find the traitor and put him down. Among the First Order, there should be no chaos. Among the First Order, there should be nothing like the Republic, like the Resistance, like the criminals that would continue to plunge the galaxy into disorder. There should be nothing like the roots that Kylo Ren himself had once upon a time, but he slowly cut away.
(With little satisfaction.
No, with no satisfaction, even if he had learned to suppress that feeling inside of him thanks to the Supreme Leader's assistance.)
The next most important step is reconnaissance—as well as a diversion. Kylo Ren knows that Leia Organa must be absent when the First Order strikes at the Resistance base, because he knows that he cannot challenge the darkness inside of himself so soon after Han Solo's death. He cannot chance the light showing its face to make him yield. He cannot risk it.
When it's all set in place, when most of the Resistance fighters have been forced to abandon their base to stop a First Order invasion elsewhere, that's when Ren strikes. His small cadre of soldiers lands, and he instructs the stormtroopers to keep the rebels busy while he finds FN-2187. It is difficult, especially given the weight of his armor, and he almost wishes he had considered going about this differently, had considered pretending that he was finally returning home—but he knows he cannot allow that temptation to hang above his head. Snoke can only be expected to be patient with the light in his heart for so long. No, he must pursue the traitor this way, to find the information, and bring an end to his life.
His fingers wrap tight around his lightsaber as he enters the base, the sound of chaos and blaster guns left in his wake. Inside, once the doors close, it's silent. He knows this base because he's been in some version of it, and though the rebels move, their plans rarely change. He recalls it from Ben's youth.
Kylo Ren's head tilts forward as he finds himself drawn to the traitor's room, where he proceeds to kill the nurse observing him, lightsaber cut through her midsection. As she falls to the ground, he looks at her face. Ben had played with her once as a child, he realizes. She should never have become a rebel.
His hand moves over Finn's resting face, and he breathes carefully, Force drawn upon.] Awaken, traitor, [he commands, doing what he can to bring the former stormtrooper to consciousness.]
for traitorous douchebags aka finn
He recalls how frustrated Ben felt that day, sent to his own room soon after. Unsurprising now is the fact that even then, Ben would throw tantrums, would allow his knuckles to go white as he picked up one thing after another in his room. He remembers centering himself with his anger in his training, allowing himself to be blinded as he picked up his training sword and brought it down upon one of the other kids. He remembers the derision from his uncle, a man who never realized how much strength he could gain from this power, from this anger, from giving in to the emotions unfurling inside of him—
Or perhaps he was so tainted by the light that he could not see. Light blinds, but darkness shows the way. Ren has known this for some time.
Revenge is the last thing he denies himself now. When news of the girl's disappearance spreads throughout the First Order, Kylo Ren allows himself to give in to that desire. He's certain that when he finds FN-2187, he will be able to find the path to the girl—and perhaps Luke Skywalker himself. All signs point to that being likely, what with her absence. But more than that, it's necessary to find the traitor and put him down. Among the First Order, there should be no chaos. Among the First Order, there should be nothing like the Republic, like the Resistance, like the criminals that would continue to plunge the galaxy into disorder. There should be nothing like the roots that Kylo Ren himself had once upon a time, but he slowly cut away.
(With little satisfaction.
No, with no satisfaction, even if he had learned to suppress that feeling inside of him thanks to the Supreme Leader's assistance.)
The next most important step is reconnaissance—as well as a diversion. Kylo Ren knows that Leia Organa must be absent when the First Order strikes at the Resistance base, because he knows that he cannot challenge the darkness inside of himself so soon after Han Solo's death. He cannot chance the light showing its face to make him yield. He cannot risk it.
When it's all set in place, when most of the Resistance fighters have been forced to abandon their base to stop a First Order invasion elsewhere, that's when Ren strikes. His small cadre of soldiers lands, and he instructs the stormtroopers to keep the rebels busy while he finds FN-2187. It is difficult, especially given the weight of his armor, and he almost wishes he had considered going about this differently, had considered pretending that he was finally returning home—but he knows he cannot allow that temptation to hang above his head. Snoke can only be expected to be patient with the light in his heart for so long. No, he must pursue the traitor this way, to find the information, and bring an end to his life.
His fingers wrap tight around his lightsaber as he enters the base, the sound of chaos and blaster guns left in his wake. Inside, once the doors close, it's silent. He knows this base because he's been in some version of it, and though the rebels move, their plans rarely change. He recalls it from Ben's youth.
Kylo Ren's head tilts forward as he finds himself drawn to the traitor's room, where he proceeds to kill the nurse observing him, lightsaber cut through her midsection. As she falls to the ground, he looks at her face. Ben had played with her once as a child, he realizes. She should never have become a rebel.
His hand moves over Finn's resting face, and he breathes carefully, Force drawn upon.] Awaken, traitor, [he commands, doing what he can to bring the former stormtrooper to consciousness.]