[ air exits his lungs in a soft exhale wanting to be a sigh. his boy had left home so young. then, in a few short years, they lost contact, lost sight. lost him.
that had been the last straw. the shadow of his son lingering in the house, in the empty spaces, in his own visage…it became unbearable. without planning it, he packed the falcon, took with him only chewie and his loss, and somewhere along the way decided I'm not coming back. it'll be better for leia, he convinced himself. their son was gone. he was gone.
or so han had told himself over and over as hope, that dangerous thing, retreated into a space smaller and smaller. hope was always there. how else could he agree so readily with leia. why else would he have made this trip, that phrase rumbling in his head: there is still light in him. how else does he look upon kylo ren and find the corner of his mouth lifting in a ghost of a smile.
gone is the childish roundness to his face, the eternally curious glint in his eyes. the hair once kept short has grown longer. somewhere along the way, his boy became a man. and then han cannot help himself any longer. he lifts a hand to ben's face. on instinct, as he used to so many years ago, his thumb brushes a soft arc over ben's cheek. ]
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that had been the last straw. the shadow of his son lingering in the house, in the empty spaces, in his own visage…it became unbearable. without planning it, he packed the falcon, took with him only chewie and his loss, and somewhere along the way decided I'm not coming back. it'll be better for leia, he convinced himself. their son was gone. he was gone.
or so han had told himself over and over as hope, that dangerous thing, retreated into a space smaller and smaller. hope was always there. how else could he agree so readily with leia. why else would he have made this trip, that phrase rumbling in his head: there is still light in him. how else does he look upon kylo ren and find the corner of his mouth lifting in a ghost of a smile.
gone is the childish roundness to his face, the eternally curious glint in his eyes. the hair once kept short has grown longer. somewhere along the way, his boy became a man. and then han cannot help himself any longer. he lifts a hand to ben's face. on instinct, as he used to so many years ago, his thumb brushes a soft arc over ben's cheek. ]