illithidnapped: (Every time the sun)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-06-10 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I just—

[Think, and he shouldn't. Think, and he wants to. Be charming, Astarion. Be pleasant, Astarion. You're bleeding from the head and dragging your fractured leash behind you on the collar that's still attached; the rules that applied in the shadows of that city never stopped applying here just because there's nothing stifling his body. His free will.]

If you don't know everything about its influence, you could be half a bloody continent away and it still might not be enough in the end. What if he changes something about it? What if passive exposure does something to you over time?

You're— well.

I suppose it goes without saying that I'd rather not lose you yet.
Edited 2024-06-10 23:20 (UTC)
illithidnapped: (A13)

2/2

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-06-10 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[But as for the water— oh, he stops there once it's mentioned. Squeezes his grip a little tighter around that already abused portion of cloth before giving up the ghost, so to speak: short passage tracking its route from one damaged palm into a finely armored one. Something like a metaphor clinging for the lapse in his expression before a smile's worked back in.]

Ah.

I....erm. Very sweet of you, but there's no point in wasting your supplies, darling.

Trust me when I say I can make do.

[Last ditch effort, really. He's already turning slightly; running through the motions of bracing up for the scalding kiss of water on his skin. After all, the elf is right: better a few seconds of agony over hours spent scraping his own skin off in the dirt.]
Edited 2024-06-10 23:21 (UTC)
illithidnapped: (14)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-06-12 12:13 am (UTC)(link)
[The hesitation of a former slave, yes. One that runs tight as tempered steel through his own shoulders on final, inevitable approach, setting jagged teeth down firm across the outlines of their twins in the seconds where he's grateful that eye's already shut. It wouldn't be the first injury endured, but every spawn has their preferred hiearchy of tortures that they'd rather (not) find at the end of a raw bit of misfortune, well-applied. Scalding his own cursed eyes? Oh, yes, darling. It's up there. Far, far up there.

And yet he's aligned in that cloth's shadow.

And it's sharp, at first— the kind of crispness that runs in anything white-hot, piercing its way through beseiged senses—




....only....it isn't?

No. No, it isn't.

It's cool. It's cold. That's all there is. No tailing wave of agony. No Searing blister. No stabbing bite. His heartbeat's in his throat, but even that tails off in the steadier aftermath, now that the pressure (and clean water) carefully applied has drained the swell above his lid. Wrestled its enmity down into something ugly, yet sedate.

In disbelief, both eyes open. He hadn't even heard what Fenris said over the pounding in his ears, and now—
]

Well, shit.

[Don't mind him, Fenris. He's a little breathless. A little distracted. That comment isn't aimed at you, though it does sound like it, doesn't it?]
illithidnapped: (12)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-06-12 10:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[The wash of that rag has him listless; it vanishes the second that he understands how this has to seem. Alertness snapping back into his vision, compressing everything he feels into a single, blinding point: like an engine sputtering to life in a rush of animated reflex, he wears his thoughts across his sleeve. His tattered, bloodstained sleeve. Silk snagging a little under the indent of Fenris' waiting thumb, wrapping just around its edge.

—oh?
]

Oh.

No, neither. [When everything he knows is barbed wire and fanged sharpness and want, he oscillates, still. The same overquickened sense of footing, there and gone again; excuse like an explanation, only it sinks inside his throat instead of rises.] You don't need to stop.

[He can't recall the last time he's said that.]

Let's just say that the way you were altered isn't the same way that I was.

Running water has a nasty tendency to burn when in contact with the accursed. Quite literally burn. [Masked on the off chance it was a telltale trackmark for vampirism and its revilement, but now— with so much care melting him away through every second of tread mercy, a temptation he can't shake. Never could, though he'd always paid its price.] I was prepared to endure it. I've felt so much worse for a great deal less in the grander scheme of all these years, that a little pain would only be worth it if it meant not gawking uselessly at you through a half-functioning pair of eyes.

Now I—

Gods, I don't know what to think.

[A blink, and Fenris' hands feel so damned sturdy that he drifts for just a beat beneath its run. Leaving someone else's hold across the reins. Unfamiliar. Too familiar.

Changed.
]

....I really am free of him, aren't I.
Edited 2024-06-12 22:18 (UTC)
illithidnapped: (120)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-06-20 10:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[For those seconds when those banded fingers tuck under his chin, he remembers how it feels to be a spawn; his heart shudders in its moors before it stops and stays unbeating, tense in a way it hasn't been since waking up, when nausea and discomfort ached in time with its swift, hard pulse.

His eyes shut. Both of them this time.

He doesn't breathe.

He only listens.


And then the patter of a wrung-out rag pulls him back into the present swath, bearing the brunt of his attention when he wipes his cheek across the corner of one sleeve to dry it (never mind that it smears his skin with red again, just there), uniquely docile in the next few beats when he holds up both his palms.
]

....you're a dangerously generous thing for someone who's been through so much. [Knife's edge, those words. Balanced like a dagger on the tongue. I'm not a pet project some part of it implies, but it's less the rattling of a serpent's guarding tail and more the assertion of something well aware it's standing on its last legs. Only legs. Unsteady legs.

He needs the help. Hells, some part of him even wants it, winding willingly into the shadows of the firelight in a mirror to the slow reach of his hands.

That doesn't change the part of this he fears, so much so that he can't say it.
]
illithidnapped: (A28)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-07-10 12:49 am (UTC)(link)
[A snort slides free from the narrow space between the back of his fangs and the roof of his mouth, burning that much hotter than he's used to— throwing himself off guard by his own attempt at amicable amusement. The way it feels, twice over: one side of the scale wearing the peculiarity of socialization the likes of which he hasn't known in ages, on the other: sweltering humidity, brought on by a beating heart. An aching heart. The jolting pulse of soft blood in his veins—

—smeared across a dampened rag.

No, some part of it implies along the wry edge of a downturned smile, no, I've no intent to rob you.
]

Whatever satisfies. [Astarion concedes slowly, unaware of his own flush candor. Holding out his other hand, the picture's only in the details to his mind; he can't see the forest— just the trees that grant him shade. The darker smudge of green on canvas, impossible to navigate, but pleasantly, pleasantly lost.]

To that end: what exactly is your cause?
illithidnapped: (127)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-07-11 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
[Later, when they're closer, this conversation will mean more than it does now, when all concepts are vague beyond the sound of Fenris' voice and the inflection with which they're said: the drawn lines across his skin (different than the feel of being washed, albeit no less caring), doing enviable work to stitch together what Astarion's already ascribed full names and details to, having more than just the simplest of concepts in his pockets such as good or bad or his enemy. My enemy.

Tevinter looks like Baldur's Gate. Corpyheus looks like Cazador— or perhaps a carving of Bhaal's infamous chosen. Depends on the moment. The severity of those placeholders, and the way they're emphasized.
]

Admirable. [Isn't, for now, a criticism, though it's said without a drop of the word's own meaning present.] I won't pretend that I don't appreciate becoming one more rescue-ee on that doubtlessly extensive list of liberated slaves, despite the discrepancies in ownership.

[He casts a glance down towards his palm. Still green. Still glowing.]

I take it if your Corypheus wins, things will be much, much worse for those in shackles— and without.
illithidnapped: (A17)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-07-12 10:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[A choice.

It's a kindness he can't swallow for how it sticks in his throat across the passing flicker of a heartbeat, and suddenly— in full spite of the way that he can't feel the leashing tether of his master, replaced now with the glassy gleam of magic in his palm; in spite of the understanding brokered here already in rich firelight, perched down in the dust with blood and water licking at their skin; in spite of the fact that there is no faking this with either magic or illusion (the demons had been too real for that, and this feels like no dream he's ever suffered)— something in him jerks its way into panicked alertness, already sensing Cazador at his back long before he's attuned to his arrival. Feeling the trickle of cold sweat run rabbiting and anxious across the nape of his own neck, waiting to feel breath there. An exhale. A gloating declaration of victory. A choice, as always, perched in against his ribs like the sharp edge of a knife.

He doesn't turn around. Doesn't tear himself away. There's no palpable flood of panic in his posture, held captive in dilated eyes. There's no point in that, you see: it's the prey drive that allures— the thrill of watching something squirm and shriek before the noose— and if Astarion has one point of pride left to his own name, it's denying his own master that.



But nothing shifts.


Not aside from Fenris, that is, who falls back on his heels, leaving Astarion to stare down at cleaned fingers and mending wounds. Not a shadow to be seen. Not a devilish purr in earshot.
]

—what? [He asks, stripped clean of all pretense outside confusion as it dawns on him that he'd forgotten everything of what's been said. Tries, dry-mouthed, to remember it, but the topics slip through his fingers like those droplets of shed water. Corypheus. Slaves. A— god? Or something like that.

He thinks he might have an inkling of what was offered. Leans on it, and checks just once over his shoulder in the process.
]

No— [nothing.] Well, I. Mmh. It's not exactly a difficult decision, is it?
illithidnapped: (120)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-07-14 10:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[He's feigned this more times than he can count. A drink nudged against his fingertips or a compliment to his ears, and there— just so— comes bashful gratitude, flattered and hopeless to the last. Those practiced lines that ever cloyed, tasting sweet as rot after a time. Oh, darling. Thank you. You flatter me. You've changed me. I want to stay with you until you tire of me, trust in that. The world outside those flytrap bars comes differently.

His shoulders align perfectly with his succinctly rounded-out expression— not a ruddy, directed cant like that of a schoolchild in portrayed stagelight, but something quieter. Narrower. Tender things are so unbelievably small in their own nature, that for that moment, it is easy to see just why they slip through the cracks in the world— all of them— any of them. They make no grand statements outside the change that they enact. They fan no flames, spark no shattering burst of electricity.

How could Astarion have seen them before now?
]

Oh. [He sounds absurd in that lead in. A fawn learning how to walk would have more grace, fumbling headlong into his own breathlessness and only grasping a glimpse of it in hindsight.] Same. [Same, he says, and it's so paper thin he trips in that return to normalcy:] Ahahah, very much the same indeed. And not solely for the fact that I'd most likely be dead as a doornail rotting in a fallow field otherwise— although I'm certain that's obvious by now.

[Which, much like the rest of this, is true.

He pauses, then. Flexes his freshly cleaned fingertips before slowly glancing up towards that firelight. The man perched still beside it.
]

Thus in the spirit of cooperation and naked honesty....a request.
illithidnapped: (125)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-07-15 10:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[Slow slide: the squeeze of his left fingers over the first two of his right, drawing down. Tucks his thumbpad along the top of the opposite, dragging with movement that runs against the grain of that nervous tic.

Of course it's reassuring, watching those doeish eyes lift as Fenris' head tilts. Of course the throatiness in that voice is something that— already— has two hundred years of sworn mistrust inching in with its tail tucked and its ears lowered in fretful, unsettled need. Of course, to say no less than all of the above, Astarion trusts it.

But he's breaking open a cask that's been sealed for longer than most mortals live. The dry rasp of his throat feels sharp when he inhales, dangerous as glass.
]

That you wake before sunrise with me.
illithidnapped: (143)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-07-16 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
Just like that? [Astarion scoffs warmly, the upturned corners of his mouth held by quiet disbelief; the once-unthinkable suddenly made predictable.] No strings attached? No questions asked?

[His formerly fretful hands are set across his folded legs by the time he shakes his head.]

Starting to think you might fluff my pillow for me. Tuck me in. Wish me goodnight.
illithidnapped: (45)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-07-17 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[Oof. Phrasing. Astarion's ensuing chuckle is almost rueful in its overt amusement. Doubly so at the rise of that ensuing mercy, pretty as it is.]

Darling boy, if you knew what my cooking was like, you'd spare yourself the torture.

[He's stripped himself of his torn shirt by the time they're both supplanted in their bedrolls, fiddling with its tattered holes in a survey of all damage sustained; the prelude to plotting necessary repairs once they've found their way to this nearby city of Fenris', and a needle and thread will no doubt lie in reach. And at least like this, with the way his body's facing, he doesn't need to fret over the notion of his scars being seen (worser still: some part of him, absent and small and lain unspoken in tame darkness, insists he wouldn't mind it if they were).

But even the daftest whore knows not to surrender all their secrets on the very first night.
]

Water isn't the only thing that poses a threat to those afflicted as I am through my former master's touch. For a vampire— [and gods, doesn't he feel the full weight of that word for just a few narrow seconds in confession, not waiting to see if it's recognizable as he continues on— ] even sunlight is lethal in its own right.

Were I to wait until it's risen, well....I might not rise again, so to speak.

[Another scoff, mild. Bleak. Amused.]

....and I don't want to be alone when that happens.
Edited 2024-07-18 00:09 (UTC)

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