The One With Thedas and Toril

[doggish]

Comments

3/3

[doggish]

Of the two of us, you're the wolf in this relationship. You tell her to move. I fought the siege over her bed; you can take the skirmish of moving her to the side of our bed.

And I'm out. I won't be back until later.

[illithidnapped]

oh I'm the wolf now, am I?

They're your children plucked up on your whims from one of your godsforksaken excursions which YOU I'll remind you learned magic to speak with and swore to care for but no no

I'm the wolf. I'm the one to have his beauty sleep disrupted EVERY FIVE MINUTES by these warring little beasts and all fussing and whining and fretting and snarling while you-

2/2

[illithidnapped]

what the fuck do you mean you're out.

with whom???

1/4

[doggish]

Go into th

Just out.

[doggish]

[. . .]

Doing things.

[doggish]

[. . .]

With Karlach.

4/4

[doggish]

[DOT MOTHERFUCKING DOT, the pauses between texts just keep getting longer.]

And I meant you're literally a wolf at times. You have a wolfish bond with Ataashi that I do not— and you were the one to adopt her. The pups can only exit off their ramp, so me speaking to them isn't going to do much.

[Is this bullshit? Yes. Is he hoping Astarion will buy it? Also yes.]

[illithidnapped]

[Alas, Leto. Dumbledore voice: earwax.]

Well not to pick sides in this little skirmish but perhaps my wolfish bond is precisely why she wishes the whole of her pack to be close. And that much like my good self I'll remind you that she. was here. FIRST.





I thought you didn't like Karlach.

[doggish]

She's growing on me. She's an excellent fighter, but more importantly, she has no qualms about stacking odds in gambling dens.

So your aim is to get me to tell the pups to leap off the side of the bed when they need to pee?

You want me to tell Fortunato to leap off the side?

Or simply to tell them not to crawl on Ataashi's face when they climb down?

[illithidnapped]

Oh come off it. You're being ridiculous and you know it.

So what, now you're gambling with her? Betting on her??

[doggish]

Betting on her. I've made fifty gold thusfar, and we've only been doing this an hour. It's a nice change from being the one in the ring.

I'll pick you up a present on the way home if you ask nicely.

[illithidnapped]

I am NOT asking nicely.

[illithidnapped]

But I'm glad it's her taking a beating and not you.


Though if you keep being a damned brat I might yet change my mind.

[doggish]

i am not

[illithidnapped]

Not what, taking a beating or being a brat?

Because right now I'd argue you're figuratively both.

[doggish]

[...figuratively both is scratched out, and written underneath:]

neither

[. . . which then gets blotted out in a smear of ink a second later.]

I meant being a brat.

I'll speak to the twins whenever I get home. But Fortunato, at least, listens to you. Is she refusing to leave your side? She liked having a bed for herself a few weeks ago.

[illithidnapped]

[It earns an unacknowledged smirk from the other end of the line.]

Do brats not make annotations regarding someone else's assessments? I shall have to keep that in mind.

[And you know what, at least his pup-eared, fool young heart is asking the important questions now.]

The added foot traffic frightens her as much as it does Ataashi.

As far as I can guess without subjecting myself to rampant whining and nipping and whimpering, I do in fact believe it frightens the lot of them save for your empty-brained little adventurer who cannot manage to sit still.

[doggish]

[For the sake of his own fluctuating temper (certainly not because Astarion is right in all his teasing, and winning this little snipping war), he's ignoring that first bit.]

Stupidity has its benefits.

[Oh yes it does. Montressor is so cheerfully bold, waddling around and soaking up attention and treats wherever she can.]

I'll lie with them in their bed until they fall asleep tonight. Ataashi can stay at the foot of the bed.

Or she can sleep on our feet and we can have a houndish invasion, but I suspect you'd kick everyone out, myself included, if that were to occur.

[illithidnapped]

With all this ruckus and your war-inclined feet I'm not certain I'll ever manage to remember what sleep was like.

[doggish]

You'll miss my war-inclined feet the moment they're gone tonight, and pine for me until I return to the bed. Or did I imagine the fussed bat who herded me back to bed when I took too long getting water the other night?

Then again: Ataashi will steal my place the moment I lie down with the pups. You may be content after all.

[illithidnapped]

I'll only be content when you return unharmed: I didn't like the idea of you leaving from the start— is anyone even keeping an eye on you whilst Karlach fights??

[doggish]

"Keeping an eye on you"?

2/2

[doggish]

[And then, after some thought, in a larger scrawl:]

????

[illithidnapped]

[^ Someone is pretending not to notice that palpable incredulity UvU]

what?

2/2

[illithidnapped]

????