albinomilksnake | STAR WARS: possible spoiler warning

Talk. [This time he scoffs, the action distorting the ugly gash running across the width of his brow, disappearing upwards into dark, disheveled curls. Mercy and weakness, leashed to her wrists like the cuffs he wears, shackling her down where she could be more. The bitterness in his expression dies down; he tilts his head, feigning at objective indifference in spite of the fact that he's a forced participant.] Is this where you ask me about compassion?

Evaluate how much good is left in me-- [He's heard it all, too many times to even count, and long before he took up the mantle as a Knight of Ren. Like he was sinking-- near to drowning-- and they were always measuring the height of the tide as it crept in.] Try to convince me to come home, after everything I've done.

From the looks of it, you are home. Whether you like it or not.

[With his mother leading the Resistance, it's hard to call any place she's in charge of less than her home—and thus, his home. It's weird for Rey, who grew up on Jakku but never felt like she belonged there. She doesn't know what a home is like. Though sometimes around Luke, Leia, and the others, she feels like she's there. And sometimes in the cold expanse of space, curled up on one of the bunks in the Falcon, she feels like she's home, too.

Moving forward. She's moving forward. She sees what she can see.

It makes her wonder how much he looks backward. Is he the same? It's possible.]

I don't much care about what good there is in you. That's up to you if you want to show anyone. [Her words are crisp, simple. She is restraining her anger within her, and she knows she can't let it control her. That's the way to the dark side, and she has so much light within her. She can't let it go out, even in the face of him.]

I want to know why you wanted to teach me. [There is more to say. But she leaves it at that, to see what that statement will invite from him.]

Because the Supreme Leader willed it. [The last few words hissed out, tongue flat against his teeth and brimming with rage, though it's all unfocused. Internal. He opts not to discuss his supposed home or the people that reside in it. He opts not to think about the idea that Han Solo was likely correct (he was correct) that it was all an inevitable spiral downwards: Snoke would inevitably find Rey a more suitable replacement - she was stronger with the Force, she was so wholly committed to it where he had always stumbled, always faltered - and then, once her place at his side had been secured, he--

Shuts his eyes and breathes. Presses his fingers to his palms and leaves them curled tight, waiting for the weight on his chest to calm. Like this, the Force cannot reach him, but if she falters, proves herself too trusting or merciful...there is a chance.]

[All of the emotions radiating off of him are not surprising. It isn't the first time she's felt it. Rey knows that he tries to stifle all that he feels, just as she's doing the same. But for her, anger isn't natural. Her time on Jakku led to her feeling anger only occasionally, and she never let her righteous fury guide her down any reckless paths. She would have died much sooner if that were the case.

And she didn't.

So in that way, she can recognize that her anger is different from his now. Somehow, it mutes that irritation that threatens to flood through her with every word he speaks, even if what he says is brief. Short. To the point.]

He wants my power. [Luke had explained it. He had explained how the Sith will cast away one apprentice for another. Though Snoke and the Knights of Ren don't define themselves as Sith, there's a callous approach to life that remains.]

He won't have it. [It's really as simple as that. She sounds resolved.]

But it upsets you just the same. [She notices the shift of his hands, notices how he hopes to move. She's too aware of the surroundings to let that miss her attention, but she does nothing about it. She can't be afraid of him like this, not when that can open another door to negative emotions.]

Why is that?

[He laughs, wheezing and low. It isn't genuine. Like flinching from a feigned blow, his eyeline darts away from her, settling somewhere else as he clamps down on his own breath, held tight in his lungs. She's blind. Deaf. Knows nothing of what is to come, and Skywalker will never prepare her for it, that he knows firsthand.

Whatever becomes of Kylo Ren, there will come a day where she'll realize he was right.] But he will.

He'll find your thoughts. He'll find you, soon enough.

[In dreams and painful, haunting whispers; she'll feel what he felt, know the agony of being torn apart from the inside out until her strong will bends. Breaks.]

The same way he found you? [The question is quick and calculated. Rey has clearly heard of this from both Leia and Luke—she knows that Snoke slipped into his mind early on. But she wonders if it'll truly be that way. And will she be strong enough?

Rey feels compassion for him, she realizes. It rapidly begins to eat at the hatred and anger inside of her, washing it away in one fell swoop. In its place, there's ... pity, which isn't entirely fair. No, that's the wrong thing to feel.]

It doesn't need to be that way any longer. You don't have to be alone in this struggle.

[There's no laugh this time, patronizing or otherwise. He's tired, and bested, and for all of his unfocused loathing, he's not grounded enough to mask how deep those scars run beneath his skin. It should mean something significant, her reaching out to him.

It doesn't.] You know nothing.

[She's too close to the truth. Prying loose emotions like maintenance hatches, there's a draw to her that even he can't deny, and if he lets her continue reaching for his hand he'll weaken. By degrees, and not without a struggle, but the light has always persisted in his veins.

His features soften almost abruptly, eyeline lifting, voice barely above a whisper. Hopeful, maybe, if ever he could be.] --would you try to save me after everything I've done?

You'll have to answer for your crimes. [Her voice is even and careful. For what he's done throughout the galaxy. For his part in the destruction of the Hosnian System.] But that's not my place to decide. [It's a very simple matter. She wonders: if she had been able to be found on Jakku, would she have suffered the same fate? Would Snoke have tainted her years of hopeful, surprisingly patient waiting? Would he have taken advantage of the loneliness she felt day in and day out, otherwise grounded to a world she didn't like very much?

It's possible. No, it's probable.]

... I can help you find the light again. To keep him away. [Some part of her betrays her sincerity, as a thought creeps in: to keep you from hurting people. Her certainty isn't completely set in stone. She needs it to be. But at the same time, this is a work in progress.]

Edited 2016-01-18 04:32 (UTC)

[He knows she's not so weak as to fall victim to any fleeting signs of weakness as Han Solo had, but his expression remains a constant, some low, distant part of him stirred by the idea that she would be so willing to attempt to bolster his defenses as Luke did, once.

As his own mother did, without ever once admitting it.]

Come here.

[It's not a needling demand, nor is it spoken with the expectation that she will: his voice stays quiet, compliant, fingers flexing only briefly as he works to ease where the cuffs bite into his wrists. Adds, only a beat later:] Please.

[She could just as easily move. Some part of Rey feels compelled to do it, but that part doesn't always win out. Years on Jakku have shown that she has remarkable resolve when it comes to keeping her feel firmly glued to the ground.

They remain that way for now, her eyes moving over his face, uncertain about what he wants.

She won't pry to find out, either.]

Why?

[Because he needs to answer for himself. Even with the please, she knows (has heard) him be nice before, and ask for forgiveness, all to do something that he thinks needs doing.

Rey can't forget that moment so easily.]

[He exhales once, sharply. Pained, even. Lifts his hands to bare the shackles as an example of what she already knows, leaning in by the barest inch to set his stare closer to her level, as if it's a sign of sincerity.] I can't hurt you like this.

You already know I can't.

[Again, he pauses. Licks the edge of his lip before marking it with his teeth.] Please.

[Rey thinks of the time that she managed to push back, to pry into his mind and learn of his fear that he would never be as strong as Vader. The difference is that he's already been in her mind, and though she knows the layout of the base, the Resistance is well prepared for any chance that bringing Ren here could mean that they'd have to move.

They already removed the tracker from his belt, after all. That made them aware that there might be something else to look for.

She rises up just the same, because while he could hurt her, the walls in her mind are well-fortified compared to what they had been on that day they first met. She's more prepared for this.

As she draws closer, her eyes move over the scar on his face, and she knows that she did that to him. The fight had been different from all the altercations she had on Jakku. It had been desperate and filled with rage. It's not that Rey hasn't been frustrated or irritated when she's fought before, but on Jakku, there was a system in place. If she fought, it had a purpose, and often, on both sides, it wasn't personal. That fight was, because he might have destroyed Finn's life when he cut him down, and she might have lose her only friend.

Her brows knit together as she stills and meets his eyes expectantly. Her mouth remains closed, as it's time for him to speak and to give her answers.]

[He sees the shift in her attention; he doesn't need to dig his fingertips into her thoughts to understand the reasoning behind it as she traces out the gruesome line of his scar.

But no, bound as he is, he cannot reach for her in any amount. The one single truth of their conversation that's transparent as glass as his eyes shift upwards to fall on her own, punctuated by the soft sound of his own breath and little else in that too-small space.]

You are powerless. [His tongue curls around the sudden vitriol in his voice, features turning sharp in the span of those few, hateful seconds - quick as the moment he turned his blade towards Han Solo's still-beating heart.

She knows nothing of the power the dark side holds. Snoke will crush her resolve once he finds her, tear from her the strength to endure as he'd once fallen, so long ago.] And when I find freedom I will finish ending the lives of the liars, traitors and thieves you love so dearly.

[He will break her weakness to make her whole again, as he was meant to.]

[Rey's expression sours immediately. Her lips twist downward, and she steps away from him. The movement isn't jerky, but purposeful: she doesn't want to step away and make him think that he has power at the same time. But she's not surprised. She's not surprised in the least.]

Do you think it'll make you feel powerful? [she asks.] Because you don't look anymore powerful from where I'm standing. Not after killing your father.

[Compared to her, he's in binds.

Strength isn't necessarily something that she feels she needs to weigh against other people. In that, her anger doesn't fuel her. It doesn't offer her a stronger connection to the Force. Instead, it blinds her, and she's not used to handling it (or not handling it, as the case may be with Kylo Ren). "Anger" isn't a natural state for her, nor will it ever be.

That certainty is where her strength lies. Rey has lived on hope her entire life. She has lived believing that the course of events in her life were all mistakes, and that one day, they would be set right. Where she could be bitter, she isn't.

So, she doesn't rise to his challenge—not to the degree that she could. "Powerless." When she looks at his face, she doesn't see someone who's powerless. She knows that her ability to offer him help makes her stronger in many ways, because even with him, she can believe in hope, though she doesn't know if he's really worth having that weigh upon him.]

STAR WARS: possible spoiler warning

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