albinomilksnake | STAR WARS: possible spoiler warning

[ twenty years have gone by in the blink of an eye and in an eternal poisonous crawl.

the decision of obi-wan and yoda had been absolute. the time for diplomacy, the time for peace…they were long past. the time for fighting too was over. it was a time to retreat, as much as the thought of it burned. a time to disappear, take stock of their immeasurable loss, and bide their time for a new opportunity. it was a time to be utterly selfless when her every fiber screamed to be selfish.

anakin skywalker's children could not exist. the risk to them was too great. as for anakin's secret wife, he would not stop searching as long as he knew her to live. the solution was impossibly simple. but oh, how she had raged against it until the reason she was famed for returned.

twenty years she has been waiting, aged by time and grief, but she still raises her head proud. this is a risk. this is fallacy. she is tossing away everything that had been done to protect her children in the name of sentiment, but she could no longer bear the silence. the stories passed to her by old friends came no more. all she has left are the rumors of exploits, the beginnings of legend, and though they thrill her and make her proud they are not enough.

a coded message had been sent, asking to meet on this planet on this day. she chose a plain with nothing around for miles. she landed her ship where it is plain to see. and she settled to wait, her fingers trembling.

when the white and orange x-wing descends, she releases a breath. in the time it takes her to gather the scraps left of her courage and lower the ramp, the fighter has already landed. when she steps outside, she catches sight of a familiar blue domed head. r2-d2 beeps in excitement, the black lens fixed on her. despite the tortuous ball of nerves settled heavily in her belly, she smiles at the sight of the loyal little droid. then her heart catches in her throat when the cockpit hood lifts, and the pilot climbs out.

the former queen of the naboo, the once senator whose opponents would have seen her dead to quiet her finds her mouth gone dry and her throat working nervously. her attention is on the young man walking toward her. even when r2 is released from his socket and wheels toward her, chirping a cheerful greeting, she does not look away from the young face at once strange and familiar. a small bump by r2 against her leg has her look down. smiling, she lays a hand on the domed head. ]

Hello, old friend, [ she greets the droid quietly. heartfelt gratitude laces her observation. ] You've looked after them.

[ she gets a bright beeped yes in response. steeling herself, she lifts her head again. the shine of tears marks her eyes. her voice is clear, still her greatest weapon, still her first line of defense, and carries easily to the young man she had last seen as a newborn in her arms. padmé does not need the force to know before her stands her son. ]

Do you know who I am?

[It's a strange request. Sure, he'd earned both his medal and his keep in the eyes of the resistance, he guesses that kind of recognition might warrant a direct message or two asking for a pilot (not some no-name farmboy from the back end of Tatooine) that's trusted. Respected. But there weren't specifics attached: no names in return, no demands, no offered rewards - all the things you'd expect to find in a message with that much encryption.

He'd been warned against a potential trap. Promised he'd keep R2 on alert (though with how friendly the often temperamental droid seems to be with their contact, he's fairly certain they're well and far away from any immediate hot water) and never once felt some creeping, nagging itch the way he had back on the falcon before.

So when he smiles, running a few fingers through his helmet-mussed hair to comb it out, it's all sincere. All real.] Of course.

[She looks...nice. Whoever she is. Warm eyes, soft features unmarred by however many years she must have had under her belt.] You're the one that sent the message. My contact.

[ she ducks her head before he can see the change in expression. of course, he does not know. that was the point, wasn't it? to let them have a life without hiding, without running. something better.

a smudge on r2's dome catches her attention. padmé reflexively rubs at it with her thumb until most of it comes away. the gesture buys her the time she needs while she regains her composure. when she lifts her head again, her expression has smoothed into something friendly and welcoming. ]

This R2 unit once belonged to me. [ an answer to an unasked question. ] He was a brave and true friend.

[ the truth; or as much of it as she dares speak. padmé picks her words carefully. she always despised lying. the jedi way of twisting the truth never called to her either. but she was a politician — she knows well the risks of recklessly blurting out whole truths.

so she settles for one simpler. an indirect connection, though a connection nonetheless. she wants one, so badly does she need one… ]

I hope he's been as good to you.

[His attention drifts downward as she gently scuffs at R2's finish, smile only widening by careful degrees until she mentions being his previous owner-- and then his stare flicks up, sharply, honing in on her face with a look that's nothing short of exactly how off-guard he is.]

Well I guess R2's more popular than any of us ever knew about.

[But then again, it's not exactly surprising: it's a big universe, and droids-- well kept ones-- don't get hit by time the way people do. First Leia, then Obi-wan, then him, so sure, why not someone else before that point? Someone kind and clearly caring, that hasn't forgotten the significance of friendship even when it comes from a droid.

That's the part he thinks he likes best.] He's had my back for a while now. I owe him a lot more than just my life.

[Which sparks a grin as R2 opts to whistle out a low little noise of approval. He folds his arms; licks his lips before opting to clear his throat.] I'm sorry, I didn't realize that's why you must have sent your message.

No -- I'm as surprised to see him. And very glad, [ she adds at r2's questioning ooo. appeased, the droid whistles cheerfully as he swings his domed head between his original and his current owner.

truthfully, she's both: startled and pleased in equal measure, though not half as much as luke. there is no such thing as coincidence in this life. luck, as well. living with a jedi, befriending others, taught her the true nature of both. there was a different, wiser hand behind this coming together, that she believes. she can only be grateful for it. there are few sentients as trustworthy as the stout little droid. luke is in no better hands and, if the way the young man in front of her speaks is any indication, so is r2. ]

I gave him to a friend of mine many years ago. The best pilot I have known. [ she drifts away from the memory before it can take hold. in another life, her sister had criticized her, citing she behaved more as a jedi than jedi themselves did: always centered in the moment, composed to the point of appearing cool, dedicated to the good of all rather than the pleasures of a few. but sola had been wrong. padmé was capable of whims as reckless as her husband's, and they had given her the bitterest joys and the sweetest pains. this moment is one. the corner of her mouth lifts in a soft, teasing smile. ] Though if half the stories about you are true, he has competition.

Edited 2016-01-19 20:51 (UTC)

[He's young, he's eager, he's spent nearly the entirety of his life stuck on a farm in the middle of literally nowhere: that kind of flattery prompts an overly goofy laugh as he ducks his chin, lifting one hand to rub stubbornly at his own mouth.] I don't know about that.

[What could he say? 'The Force guided me'? Well-- alright, sure, it did, and he has on more than one occasion, but she wasn't there; the little details of how and why aren't exactly the most relevant things in the world.

And then a thought comes to him, and he's snapping his head back up, entirely refocused:] What was his name?

I could look him up in the directory they have on base. See if he's still around.

[People came and went all the time. If R2's already having one good reunion, why not make it two?]

[ the sound of his laugh sparks a wide grin. to padmé's ears, there is no goofiness; it is one of the loveliest sounds in the galaxy. which makes the subsequent pang all the more palpable.

brows drawing together, her eyes drop to a point on the ground. her mouth works for an answer, settles on quietly admitting, ] He won't be, [ and the tide threatens to pull her under again. but the reminder of him, the ghost forever lingering at her right shoulder where he had so often stood, reminds her of the danger they may be in: time is not a luxury they have. her heart beats faster, and she thinks he can feel it, can follow the tattoo of it through space. before she can reconsider, padmé presses on. ]

Your uncle Owen and your aunt Beru — [ she had thought them good people when they met so many years ago on tatooine. steady, sensible souls who cared for their family. it was why she had volunteered them as the best choice to take luke. she wonders how they must have taken to obi-wan — for it could only have been obi-wan — whisking luke off the planet as qui-gon had another boy so long ago.

( she does not know, doesn't imagine… ) ]

What have they told you of your parents?

[Where her expression drops like a stone, so does his once her question hits his ears. No smile, no pretense - this isn't like Ben Kenobi telling him about something bigger, something greater out there all tied to his family. This is a stranger asking him to tell a story he barely knows, and no matter how nice she happens to be, that's a whole lot to take in.]

I don't see what that has to do with any of-- [Luke stops, something clicking so clearly in his mind that it's practically audible in the dead silence that follows. Uncle Owen, Aunt Beru, she knew them. R2 never said anything about them, how could he? They've been talking all this time.]

Who are you, really? Why did you want me to come here?

[ both his questions have the same answer. padmé could almost laugh. she doesn't. she straightens, regarding him with the solemnity he deserves. inside, she cracks a little further along old fractures.

yet there's a part of her that is proud. he's piecing it together himself. in a different life, she would have fallen upon a heuristic answer as a means of engaging his thinking. but this is not a student or a colleague she means to guide to the correct decision. this is her son. he deserves honesty from the woman who helped shape the lie of his birth. ]

You were a baby when I first saw you, [ she starts quietly. ] I'd dreamt of a boy, and there you were. [ the corners of her mouth lift in a beautiful, heartbreaking smile. ] Exactly as I had dreamed.

[ it was anakin that had dreamt of leia, been so sure their child would be a fierce, headstrong girl. they had both been right. she looks down to hands and arms empty. her fingers lace together in an attempt to keep them steady. ]

But I couldn't keep you. Vader — [ her lips press into a thin, trembling line. padmé breathes in through her nose. ] He was scouring the galaxy for me. I asked Obi-Wan to take you to Tatooine. I knew you would be safe with your aunt and uncle. Safer than with me — [ her voice breaks. the tears she had managed to hold until then carve rivulets of salt down her cheeks — ] who had to run and hide. I knew you would be loved by them.

[ her vision swims and blurs, but her eyes remain on luke. something a lot like hope peeks through her staggering loss. she finishes with the answer she already gave, leaving it plain and unadorned before him. ]

I'm your mother.

[And just like that, without a single word or breath as he watches her from just a few steps away, Luke suddenly strides forward - catches her around her shoulders without thinking, pulling her tight against his own chest. He still smells like the engine of his x-wing, all the grease and grit of repairs clocked in before making the leap here, and she-- from where he has his chin pressed flush over her shoulder-- smells like something better. Distant and foreign and more wonderful than he could ever have imagined.

She could be lying. Logically he knows it, admitting the possibility to some sensible part of himself that sits coiled in the back of his skull, but...she isn't. Luke can't explain it, it's only there beyond a shadow of a doubt, brimming beneath his fingers the way he'd felt in the trenches, hearing the echo of Ben ringing out across the distance.

Across everything.]

I knew it.

[Believed it, more than anything else in the entire universe.] Somehow I always knew you were still alive.

[ with a quiet sob, padmé hides her face against his chest. her arms snake around his waist, and she holds on as fiercely as he is to her. the tightness that has lived between her ribs eases. she did not realize the weight of her guilt until it released its grip on her. for the first time in a long time, she can breathe.

her fingers curl into the material of his orange flight suit. she remains like that, indulging in the sense of steadiness embracing him provides. her grownup son. she pulls back, but not away. sight alone is not enough. her hands lift to his face. her thumb strokes a cheek; her fingers brush his hair away from his face. trying to commit him to memory as if this is only a dream soon to be stripped from her. ]

You look like your father, [ padmé observes with a touch of wonder. when one knows what to look for, the similarities are plain. the color of their eyes, the texture of their hair. the funny laugh. the smiles. ] You've grown so much.

[ wound tight around her obvious pride is the bittersweet knowledge that she missed it. all of it. thought it hurts, it fails to diminish her joy. does the opposite, in fact. her happiness is almost perfect. ]

[His expression levels out at that, even if he doesn't realize it. There's no brushing away her hand or turning his attention, but he's restless meeting the pain of her stare, knowing why she feels it after everything Ben had told him before--

Luke tightens his grip, steels his stare the way he figures he ought to.] I'm going to fix it.

Everything Vader ever did, I'm going to make it right. [It wasn't exactly a new conclusion to draw: he'd been certain for a while that he needed to finish what his father started-- that he was the only person that could-- and the more he helped out with the Rebellion the more sure he was that he needed to leave.

They needed more if they were going to win against the Empire; the odds just aren't evening out.] You won't have to hide anymore.

Darth Vader is not to be underestimated. [ her eyes widen in alarm. the similarities between father and son are rooted further than skin deep. a heavy stone drops into her belly. ] Only a Jedi Knight can hope to face him. Luke —

[ she shakes her head. it is twenty-three years ago, and she is asking another headstrong man not to think solely with a lightsaber. padmé's hand drops to his collar. she bunches it nervously in her fingers. ]

I beg you…don't be so quickly drawn to battle. Not before you're ready. And never for my sake.

STAR WARS: possible spoiler warning

baby boy

I'm not at all ready for this

like we've been ready for anything

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