albinomilksnake | STAR WARS: possible spoiler warning

[cont from: here

Ben keeps to his own space on the return trip. Aside from Han Solo's occasional (and often loud) trips to the cargo bay, he doesn't venture to the front of the ship, which is likely a relief for both Rey and Finn, having had no say in the matter of whether Kylo Ren fled Starkiller's destruction alongside them.

Still, there haven't been any violent confrontations (yet) and when neither Snoke's former apprentice or Han Solo raise voices or strike metal, the Falcon runs as quietly as she always has: rattling vents, humming thrusters-- and the ever-present hiss of old familial tension.]

[Technically, there's no reason she needs to be in the cockpit. They're safely away from the blast radius of Starkiller Base and the destruction of the base had almost certainly left the First Order's forces in shambles. What was the likelihood of anything coming after them? Slim to none, she tells herself. But she isn't really worried about what probably isn't chasing them, is she? Finding a very clear, an incredibly present danger doesn't require looking behind the Millennium Falcon because it's already here.

He's Han's son. He's Han's son and that means something. She wills herself to fixate on it, but she's spent five thousand days being no one's child and Kylo Ren knows that. He knows that because he'd pried his fingers into her head and ripped it out of her while hunting for a secret he thought was more important. He knows that because he's a monster - one they're now flying straight back to D'Qar, straight back to the last home of the Resistance and the last piece of the map to Skywalker himself.

She can't see the sense in it, but she can feel the high strung beat of her pulse that hasn't quieted since-- she doesn't know. This doesn't feel like they've escaped at all. It feels like they're bringing an explosion back with them. She keeps her hands off the controls, tries to focus on the instrument readings, and-- jumps when someone enters the cockpit from behind her.]

[ startled, han lifts both hands, palms out. ] It's me. [ he doesn't ask why she's so jumpy. being taken is a miserable sensation. according to maz, her bad day started before the first order found them. he doesn't give much thought to what else — or who else — could have her so nervous.

han drops heavily into the pilot's seat. in his youth, he unknowingly carved out a legend for himself whose shadow stretches to the present. the smuggler who could fly anything anywhere. the pilot who made fools of imperial starships. the general who helped played a hand in destroying two death stars and bringing about the end of the empire.

but he isn't the legend that grew around him. while he scans the settings around them and reflexively checks them again, he's both very tired and very old. it's hard to which weighs on him more. ]

How's she been? [ that he bothers to ask that question at all, and of someone not distinctly wookiee-shaped, is the best indicator of his esteem for the cockpit's sole other occupant. ]

[She bolts her tongue to the roof of her mouth, her teeth clamped together. That's it's Han ducking through to the cockpit should feel more like a relief than it does. But maybe nothing would? There's a prickling, uneasy sensation in her like a hand heavy at the back of her neck and she can't bring herself to shake it just because the company she finds herself isn't trying to kill her. Maybe she just needs time. Maybe she just needs a ship where she could seal and vent the cargo bay with Kylo Ren still on it.

A small sound, muffled behind her teeth; she touches her temple absently and then loosens the tightness in her jaw.] I don't know what you did to get to the base, but something seems to have stripped or damaged some the exterior front end and bottom paneling. Re-entry into atmosphere might be very bumpy. [A pause. She stares at the control settings and forces herself to think just about drag and how easily a damaged buffer panel could be stripped off its setting.] It might help to go in upside down.

[ right. their somewhat tense entry. he makes a face that doesn't quite cover his thrill of another near-suicidal impossible plan pulled off successfully. that entry fits somewhere navigating an asteroid field and his infamous kessel run. everyone got through it alive and the falcon is mostly intact. for a moment, he entertains himself picturing rey's face if he tells her exactly how the ship was damaged. the image of leia's if they enter the atmosphere upside down replaces it. ]

Upside down, huh? [ leaning forward, he switches on a screen. the various systems aboard the falcon are highlighted one by one. ] I'll take it into consideration.

[ he does not need the onboard computers to tell him of the damage. all he has to do is look out and to the left, to the blackened scores where trees, rocks and friction left their mark. han grimaces thinking of cost. the resistance would put in some of the work. more than some if he stays, and he can't fathom leaving now. no matter how much older, how much worse for wear her appearance, the falcon remains the fastest ship in the fleet. but the cost of new paneling on top of repairs for normal wear and tear, whatever other surprise unkar plutt left for him, and upgrades to a few outdated components…

han drags in a breath through his nose, holds it. he's almost tempted to take up ben on his offer. almost. with a few changes. ]

[The flare of the screen coming on makes her blink, narrows her attention. She shifts her foot under her - leg coiled up in the co-pilot seat - to get a better look as it cycles through the Falcon's systems. Oh. There. That's what's causing that rattling hum...

She flicks her attention up: from the screen to Han, all the tired lines of his face, then back to the entrance of the cockpit. Back to the screen. It isn't the mechanised whine of the ship's battered systems that has her on edge (she can tell from the sound and how its handling that they'll get where they need to go without the freighter falling apart. probably), but what's she supposed to say? Are you going to send a transmission to the Resistance? Why did you bring him? Can you trust him? What if someone had come back for her when she'd been on Jakku? Would they have trusted her?

But she wasn't torturing people. She wasn't idolizing a monster who'd nearly destroyed galactic civilization. She wasn't-- (there is something small and half hidden that she feels in her chest more than she remembers it; maybe it's not even hers, but Kylo Ren with that red saber in hand and a slew of dead.)

It isn't the same.]

I'm sorry. [Is what she says, jaw setting.] You gave me a blaster. I lost it. I'll pay you for it.

[ han spares her a sideways glance. focusing on the screen, he shakes his head. ]

Don't worry about it, kid.

[ in his experience, blasters come cheap, and are easy to replace. people, less so. reasons he keeps a tiny armory onboard for situations like the ones on takodana.

he's relieved they found rey, more relieved she's okay. ( physically, at least. he won't begrudge her heightened alarm. ) when he switches off the monitor and leans back in his seat, head tipped toward her, he says as much — ] The return trip's on me.

[ #nailed it ]

Or to Jakku, [ he adds with a little moue that says he still thinks the planet no better than a nothing ball of swirling dust. but if she wants to go home, he'll drop her off himself. ] If you still want to go back.

[She blinks at him. So much for that set jaw. Jakku?]

Oh.

[Strange, how easily the planet she'd spent her entire life on could slide off to the side like that, like since that moment in the corridor in takodana where Maz had told the truth - that no one was ever coming back for her to find her there -, she'd placed it in a box and buried it in the sand. She blinks a few more times. Frowns because it feels like the sturdiest option.]

No. I'll take the ride to D'Qar. [And because it's as good an opening as any:] Have you sent a transmission to them? About-- him?

[ "him." so that's how it's going to start. his disbelieving joy has not yet abated. but in the time since they escaped the doomed base and especially after his initial attempts to bridge… something with ben —

the reality has begun to set in. at least the reality of how it'll look to everyone else. leia will defend their son tooth and nail; she loves him too much and missed him so long. han lacks her presence, but he still has some pull. still that may not be enough. ]

Don't need to. [ a beat. ] Leia knows.

[ or she's hoping very, very hard. first with luke, then more often with leia, he had found that their hopes tended to translate to reality. unfortunately, the opposite often did too. worries and fears he would brush aside with healthy bluster would materialize around him later, usually in the guise of the bad end of a blaster.

he was never one of them — unknowingly guided, then actively tapping into that strange wealth of knowledge that is the force. he was never ben either who was always too aware, felt things too keenly. what will he feel when they touch down in the heart of the much-loathed resistance? what are his hopes? ( what does he fear? )

the benefit of being chased is it doesn't give you time to think. once in the safety of hyperspace, suddenly there's too much opportunity. for everyone aboard. ]

[Leia. Leia Organa, Luke Skywalker's sister and Resistance-- leader? Commander? She knows there's a tie there because there's always been (Leia Organa fought with the Rebellion back then too), but the details are hazy thanks to Jakku being the definition of backwater in every way except for the water. She's... not surprised, exactly, but if there's an answer she's expecting from him that isn't it.]

She knows? That we're bringing a leader of the First Order to the Resistance's secret base?

[It's a blunt way of phrasing it, but she can't help herself; had that been the point all along? Recover Kylo Ren while destroying the base? What kind of plan was that? Is she missing something here where this is a good idea?]

She knows I'm bringing our son. [ if she is blunt, he is more so. but not as a warning. direct as is his habit and strangely matter-of-fact considering the emotional ( and extremely volatile ) subject hiding out where han left him.

leia will have felt him. the more he thinks it, the surer he is. she has only been dreaming of this moment since they sent ben away. ]

Luke wasn't the only one capable of knowing the Force.

[She flicks a glance - from him to the doorway leading from the cockpit and back. Princess Leia knowing the Force isn't the part about this that sits strange and uncomfortable, but what can she say? How is she supposed to explain that every second they spend at lightspeed coursing their way to D'qar, the presence of his son feels like weight around her neck doubling; that they're carrying a bomb straight back to the Resistance.

She chews the inside of her lip, pinching until it hurts. There's an urge to tap her fingers along the edge of the control panel too, but she pins that down. Presses her fingertips against the worn framing to keep from twitching them.]

If you're sure.

[ a neutral mm sound. one doesn't need to be attuned to the force to read her disapproval. it radiates off her in troubled waves. somehow this is worse than finn in his far too enthusiastic manner questioning not so subtly if he's finally lost his mind.

it's also a reminder that he knows nothing about what happened to her inside the base. he'll leave the debriefing to leia's people. but he does look over to her, brows knitted in concern. ]

How are you holding up?

[It catches her unaware and unexpecting like she's been looking behind her and running, turning just in time to smack her face into something solid. It's a strange thing to be asked. First Finn who says anything that comes to his mind, and now Han Solo who-- well, who doesn't seem the type to ask how someone is every day. The shock of it has something close to honest popping out of her mouth:]

My head's killing me. [Blurts it out and then opens her mouth like she might say something else - doesn't know what - before her brain catches up with her mouth. She corrects herself, catches whatever it is before it slides past her tongue.] But I'm-- fine.

If you want it, Chewie's got tea in the galley. [ han's more of a coffee drinker himself when he isn't hitting corellian spirits, but there's no denying the wookiee knows his leaves. no one aboard had been poisoned yet, though han sometimes wished he'd been after trying a few of chewbacca's recipes. neither human stomachs or human tongues were made for those. ] Tastes awful — you didn't hear that from me — but it'll clear up all sorts of aches in no time.

[ after a moment, he lays a hand on her shoulder. ]

You had us all worried there, kid.

[Call her crazy, but that sounds-- good, actually. Something that tasted awful might give her something else to focus on at least - something simpler than the heart pounding uneasiness of traveling anywhere with Kylo Ren, much less at lightspeed in the direction of the main Resistance force.

His hand on her shoulder startles her. She doesn't jump, just goes taut and prickly under the weight. It's only for a second before the line of her shoulder smooths, but it's still embarrassing. In her head, she jams down the twitching anxious feeling in her stomach and every thought of being pinned to an interrogation chair or being forced to stand rooted in the spot on Takodana; she wills herself to be fine and she is. He's being kind to her. That isn't dependent on the Falcon's cargo.]

I know it's not the only reason anyone was there, but-- thank you for coming to find me.

[ quirking an eyebrow at her, ] You really think we'd have left you behind? [ he doesn't care except he actually does and way more than he likes people knowing. ]

Besides, Finn would never have let any of us hear the end of it.

[ he does not need finn following him around judging everything he is ok. that's why he has chewie. ]

[Maybe she did think that - had thought it. But the way he looks at her makes the whole idea seem silly in retrospect. --Still doesn't mean she's on board with this whole 'bringing Kylo Ren to the Resistance' thing, though. For the record.

But it's enough to sway her focus and to make her blink.]

I don't know. But it was nice anyway.

[An understatement. She briefly redirects her attention to the controls, mentally logging that the ship's on the calculated course (no deviation, no change from the last time she'd looked - but still), and then makes a small noise against the back of her teeth.

Unfolding from the co-pilot's chair:]

Tea in the galley, you said?

Come on. [ getting up, ] I'll show you.

[ despite the earlier word of warning, han looks forward to a cup himself. like the low buzzing hum from the transponder that he never could fix ( it was an outdated piece, removed from an imperial ship, but it hadn't failed him ) or the attitude the computers had developed over the decades that sometimes required a good smack to get behaving, chewie's horrible tea is another sign of home. he never did bother stocking anything else. ]

STAR WARS: possible spoiler warning

4 Han and Rey

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