The One With Thedas and Toril

[doggish]

Comments

@leto

[illithidnapped]

We need to talk about the mutts.

[doggish]

Are they pissing everywhere again? I thought they were used to the new inn . . .

[illithidnapped]

nnnnno, now they're getting into fights because our new bed is so much smaller than the last, and walled in on two sides. Which is beneficial for my safekeeping

It is less beneficial when it comes to Montressor attempting to sneak past Ataashi who deliberately lays herself at the very foot of the bed, right where the pups climb on and off of it.

[doggish]

Ah.

[There's a rather long pause, and then:]

Is there an issue with letting them fight it out?

[illithidnapped]

[illithidnapped]

hmmm you're absolutely right

you know what let me see if there's anything wrong with letting

3/3

[illithidnapped]

A GIANT WOLF POSSESSED OF MAGICAL POWERS

FIGHT TWO SMALL STUPID MORTAL INFANT DOGS

I BET ITLL GO WONDERFULLY DONT YOU

[doggish]

she knows better than to kill them

[doggish]

[Probably.

Hm.]

3/3

[doggish]

Of the two of us, you're the wolf in this relationship. You tell her to move. I fought the siege over her bed; you can take the skirmish of moving her to the side of our bed.

And I'm out. I won't be back until later.

[illithidnapped]

oh I'm the wolf now, am I?

They're your children plucked up on your whims from one of your godsforksaken excursions which YOU I'll remind you learned magic to speak with and swore to care for but no no

I'm the wolf. I'm the one to have his beauty sleep disrupted EVERY FIVE MINUTES by these warring little beasts and all fussing and whining and fretting and snarling while you-

2/2

[illithidnapped]

what the fuck do you mean you're out.

with whom???

1/4

[doggish]

Go into th

Just out.

[doggish]

[. . .]

Doing things.

[doggish]

[. . .]

With Karlach.

4/4

[doggish]

[DOT MOTHERFUCKING DOT, the pauses between texts just keep getting longer.]

And I meant you're literally a wolf at times. You have a wolfish bond with Ataashi that I do not— and you were the one to adopt her. The pups can only exit off their ramp, so me speaking to them isn't going to do much.

[Is this bullshit? Yes. Is he hoping Astarion will buy it? Also yes.]

[illithidnapped]

[Alas, Leto. Dumbledore voice: earwax.]

Well not to pick sides in this little skirmish but perhaps my wolfish bond is precisely why she wishes the whole of her pack to be close. And that much like my good self I'll remind you that she. was here. FIRST.





I thought you didn't like Karlach.

[doggish]

She's growing on me. She's an excellent fighter, but more importantly, she has no qualms about stacking odds in gambling dens.

So your aim is to get me to tell the pups to leap off the side of the bed when they need to pee?

You want me to tell Fortunato to leap off the side?

Or simply to tell them not to crawl on Ataashi's face when they climb down?

[illithidnapped]

Oh come off it. You're being ridiculous and you know it.

So what, now you're gambling with her? Betting on her??

[doggish]

Betting on her. I've made fifty gold thusfar, and we've only been doing this an hour. It's a nice change from being the one in the ring.

I'll pick you up a present on the way home if you ask nicely.

[illithidnapped]

I am NOT asking nicely.

[illithidnapped]

But I'm glad it's her taking a beating and not you.


Though if you keep being a damned brat I might yet change my mind.

[doggish]

i am not

[illithidnapped]

Not what, taking a beating or being a brat?

Because right now I'd argue you're figuratively both.

[doggish]

[...figuratively both is scratched out, and written underneath:]

neither

[. . . which then gets blotted out in a smear of ink a second later.]

I meant being a brat.

I'll speak to the twins whenever I get home. But Fortunato, at least, listens to you. Is she refusing to leave your side? She liked having a bed for herself a few weeks ago.