illithidnapped: (A38)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-05-16 10:38 pm (UTC)(link)
['Grasping at straws' falls short. In fact, 'grasping at straws on the precipice of Nessus itself whilst being torn apart from the inside out, half-starved and bleeding' still manages to fall short insofar as descriptors of any sort go.

Another splitting shock courses through him in syncopation. Microcosmic echoes of the surging pressure overhead— shattering the illusion of misaligned existence: for as long as it takes for pain to blow out all his senses, they're nothing more than two elves caught in the midline of a maelstrom.

And in that sense?

Yes, he's grasping at something less concrete than straw.

(And yet, it's the simplest choice in the world. The only choice. The obvious choice, animal and blaring in the vertigo-sick hollow of his skull:)
]

I can't— [It's an explanation, not a refusal. That's the intonation cut short when his jaw bites down across itself and he shudders in a wince.

Forget it. Forget explanations. Forget details. Circle back towards his choice.
] Lead the way and get me out of here—!
illithidnapped: (83)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-05-18 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
Yes.

[He doesn't look like a slaver. Doesn't smell like one. And Cazador's lackeys are either enthralled or as unscrupulous as it gets— neither of which seems to fit the bill for this strange elf (Fenris— he says, and it's only shy of Fenrir, which is— what? It's nothing. No marker for location or culture Astarion can track,) and his behavior: who in the lightforsaken Nine pushes himself over to tend to the fire when he's not making the questionable choice of drumming up another place for someone else to stay?

For Astarion to stay.

No one.

No one sane.

No one with a mind for common sense or the dangers that a sharp knife poses (but he'd dispatched those creatures well enough, hadn't he?)

All of it is maddening. Too much. Too overwhelming.

He stands by the edge of camp for far too long even when prompted, waiting for either the horse or its owner to turn ire his way while he bleeds from that cut across his right eye. His left palm and all the scrapes littering his skin. Annoying, but shallow— prompting a momentary closing off of everything. From his aching lid and clouded vision to the persona he projects: his arm still throbs like something broken; his nerves feel frayed; his throat dry; his head sharp and stinging all at once under the bone, and without that glaze of ruined green Astarion wonders how long he has to waste before daylight closes in just as eagerly as those wretches had been.

Moving to sit down feels like it would only bring it on all the quicker.

So he stands.
]

Why are you doing this?

[Sucking in air through his teeth feels like pulling ice through his throat down into his chest.

He has to know.
]

What's your angle?
Edited 2024-05-18 20:37 (UTC)
illithidnapped: (122)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-05-20 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
[His head is spinning. 

His senses dull. 

His head is spinning. 

His head is spinning. 

His—

He has to blink through his unobstructed eye to focus up. And he's not swaying (he's learned after two centuries of torture), because his spine knows better than the rest of him to go rigid when he bleeds. It's his mind that always sabotages him.
 
Not his siblings. Not the servants. Not even the people he hunts down. 

Just his mind. 

He can't trust it, least of all now— but he swears he hears the vision perched before him say he was a slave once. Maybe that's delirium talking. Or— or a feedback loop, more like: a bounty hunter who tracks slavers would pick up bait at least, and if Astarion's deluded mind wants to drum up sympathy in hallucination by weaving up a story about a runaway turned mercenary, well, at least the first part makes some sense. 

His next blink is feathering. He draws his arm across his face to wipe his sight lines clean, ignoring the bitter sting of sweat lodged in his wounds. Everything hurts, but without pretense  crammed obtusely in the way, he thinks on the word master— and looks down at his palm.
]

Lost is....[Dithering, that little exhale. Amused, though it's a wan grin he summons up.]
 
That about sums it up, doesn't it?

[Not just the assumption, no. Everything.

At a good distance away the slow nag hasn't startled yet; Astarion chances his luck by moving at least a few steps closer to the fire before measuring her focus and sitting down, hands across his knees. Shirt a tattered mess. His doublet— gods, he doesn't even know where he lost it.
]

To answer your much earlier question without the entire world splitting above our heads: I don't know what magic this is— or how it worked its way in under my skin— any more than you do. One minute I was running errands for my master, and the next—

[Ah. Slithering in the dark. Desperation. Shrieking.

No:
]

I woke up here. Like this. 
illithidnapped: (A9)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-05-21 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[Kirkwall. Free Marches. It repeats the theme thus far: which is to say that he knows nothing. Recognizes nothing. The only immediate thing shocking about it being that it doesn't send a cold chill up his spine.

(After all, why should it? Taking that proffered cloth affords one more long look at the glint of living green embedded deep within his skin, and all he can think of is that whatever this is or wherever he is, he—)
]

Overwhelming was finding myself surrounded in so much agony I couldn't see straight. [Astarion dryly croaks back around a wince that sees him daubing at his face. The movements more than somewhat random; he's no idea where the blood across his skin is anymore, not that it matters much.

His best guess is: everywhere.
]

So far, you make for better company.

[Another slow press at his face, before his uncovered eye lifts itself in observation.] I'll gift you bonus points if you tell me what you do you know about those rifts.
illithidnapped: (A41)

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[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-05-23 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
Astarion.

[Is the gently-posed answer offered up once he finally takes his eyes off of the figure seated just before him. Trusting in everything that surrounds him despite the highest stakes imaginable still remaining deep in play, enough so that his fingers can at least go back to carving all the dirt and grit out of his scrapes, bit by irritated bit; he doesn't know why the sound of his own name feels like a knife at his own throat in those small seconds. The danger of something sharp perched at his skin, ready to punch through.

Some part of him determined to measure out all the odds stacked up against him, possibly.

Survival instincts.
]

And unless I've developed amnesia [he chances, realizing that he very much might have, considering just how little he recalls in the lulls between grander beats of kidnapping and disaster and the sort of rescue that still has him reeling while he crawls back in towards lilting normalcy.] I can't say that I've ever heard of the Fade, either.

Not enough to tell you where it is, or whether or not I did, or—

[This time when he glances up, he squints. Head cocked sharply towards his shoulder (ignoring the way it reopens a fresher trickle of dark red. damn).]
illithidnapped: (A17)

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[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-05-23 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, shit.

Shit

[Oh, his eyes are wide while he glances down again to gawk right at his palm, dropping the whole of his pale curls down across his shockrun expression, blaming sluggishness on injury and the sickness that's washed in from the cruelty of bloodlet starvation. How did he not realize it till now? How did he not catch on?

Corypheus, he's never heard that name. A war waged with the entire world? That implies— well it implies the entire bloody world now, doesn't it?? But if that'd been the case, he'd have known. He'd have been told. Learned of it— even in isolated captivity he was privy to the stories of Bhaalspawn and Szass Tam. Gossip traveled to the kennels; whispers were audible through walls. He drank it in.

He never drank this in.
]

—I've gone through the Planes.
illithidnapped: (125)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-05-26 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[Baldurs Gate— he could start with. Almost does, a kind of start-stop hang across his tongue that doesn't fear what he can't feel tugging at him anymore (or rather: he does— always will— but not right now), not in this specific context, when logic's gone so far away from the firelight beside them that it circles right back around to being utterly, insanely trustworthy.

He doesn't want to bind himself to that.

If he's gone out into the wilderness or across the Realms themselves, choice swears he can try on something else for a change.
]

Toril. [Astarion settles on, figuring the world itself will suffice for a clear marker when it comes to just how much they're both potentially at odds. At a loss.]

But that doesn't mean anything to you, does it?
illithidnapped: (119)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-05-27 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
[He— doesn't laugh. It's more air than that. More dazed. Something like a bark of disbelief, and at this point it's— gods.]

Because unless this is the maddest attempt at luring me back to my old master in ways that make utterly no sense by any standards ever to exist— or you're more insane than a blighted Bhaalspawn, which I won't rule out just yet given what you risked on my own supposed account knowing I've nothing on me— this isn't my world, darling.

I've never heard of Corypheus. He's no threat to the world by our estimation, apparently. [Turning over the rag, he eyes the slick shine of his blood.] Mine, that is.

But if he can do this....drawing others through all the realms of demons in order to bring them here.

Perhaps he should be.
illithidnapped: (18)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-05-27 09:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Aht—

[After a pause, his long ears twitch; wide, red eyes relaxing as he breaks into a slanted grin, cloth still damp against his palm.]

Ahah.

Touché.

[Two liars walk into a bar. They only tell the truth— because despite no one believing them for a second, they only ever told the truth to begin with.]

Though I'd only be repeating tonight's theme of stating the obvious for confessing I make a poor threat to you in my present state, and pitiably poorer company besides, given that my own particular breed of insanity is less drug-bound decadence and more beaten-one-too-many-times-to-keep-my-memories-straight.

[He doesn't look up when he says it. If the creature across from him isn't wicked in some way, well— that makes him just too bright to look at. A little like squinting into the sun.]

I really don't remember what happened before I awoke right where you found me. And as for my home? It's a palace in the sprawling city of Baldur's Gate— which, knowing just how little that conjures up any sort of image worth having— is a port city so grand and christened by the sea that it makes entire territories look like dull little cesspits in comparison.

Or so I've been told. I wouldn't know.

I've never been allowed to leave.
illithidnapped: (122)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-05-30 08:19 pm (UTC)(link)
[Significant. Unimportant. In that hypothetical context it sounds so simple: was he important? Gods, no. Every exchange ever to happen inside those walls for centuries was a testament to just how worthless he truly was in the eyes of his master, replaceable by any sense. And yet—

Was he insignificant?

Apparently not, if his failed flight had anything to say about it. His first and only attempt at defiance being a short trip into a long, long punishment, where the principle of insult only holds so much weight when it comes to balanced scales.

Astarion's scoff is a bitter run. Thin.
]

I'll have to ask him myself when he inevitably tries to drag me back. [Your guess is as good as mine seems to be the implication, which is, for the record, precisely what's running through Astarion's own head.

But it's a thematic thing by now.
]

Did—

[It's a slow pause, a flash of red beneath black lashes and the cinching of his palm around that rag. No, that's not the question he wants to ask. Gesture aimed back at Fenris by the curled edge of his knuckles.

Start again.
]

Because you were so insignificant to him, or so important?
illithidnapped: (A26)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-05-31 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
[He isn't anything like the others.

There's no cowing when he exhales. No simpering sightlines in his posture. What he says is sharp and determined each time he deigns to say anything at all, cutting through the air like a knife, and equally as honed once it hits Astarion's own ears: either he was a long, long time away from his former Master, or he was so well cherished he never once learned fear.

Either way, like the rest of this, it feels unreal.
]

'Was' is a very specific tense for such an important pet.

[Unlike Fenris, Astarion can't find it in himself to be direct in any line of questioning.

Instinct still has him by the throat.
]
illithidnapped: (A1)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-06-01 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
[Everything present reiterates that tale. In the shortest imaginable span already, he'd cut down monsters— correction: demons— the likes of which Astarion has never seen. Misshapen grotesqueness too gruesome for even Cazador's bloodstained palette, though at most by a thinner margin, unmasked.

The pale elf tallies that with everything he knows thus far, and soundly at the top of that list stands a resolute fact he can't deny: no matter where he's wound up, wracked with strain and his own blood and the oddity of needing air, Astarion isn't safe. Hasn't ever been safe. But the striking creature sat nearby, knowing all the right things to say and yet sparing nothing for strangeness, might be the closest thing to that unattainable sense of safety.

And certainly the most inviting aspect of it.

Astarion stares too long despite himself. At the lopsided grin still flecked red along its border. At the ease and pride of it, spelled out only in the bottom line: he's dead, I left his broken body in the street, what of it? I want that, Astarion thinks hungrily. His stomach suddenly feeling even more barren than before under the loose lines of his torn shirt.

When he finally edges nearer to sit down fully by the fire, he isn't wary anymore.
]

What sort of man was he?

[Now that he knows what sort of man Fenris is.]
illithidnapped: (19)

[personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-06-02 01:45 am (UTC)(link)
[That Astarion's attention only briefly flickers towards the mare (mostly) minding her own business is a testament to rapt engrossment. Something so ingrained at the smallest sampling that not even Astarion's own fear can tear him off its back right now.]

Blood magic. [Is the sunken sound that leads in brittle disbelief.] Yes. That sounds familiar. [What a sick joke, that even entire realms away, masters are ever the same.

What a miracle that it's breakable.
]

And this is the first time in two centuries I haven't been able to feel his control over me from it. Or— [His body blinks. He has to breathe. Swallow on occasion. Beneath his ribs his heartbeat is a colting upswing of nausea that won't subside the longer he looks down towards his fingertips and finds his nails, well. Nails. No talons. No sign of clipping, only the soft beds of thinner outlines.] anything of him at all.

[No, on second observation, his tongue catches the backs of his fangs— canines and front teeth still dagger-sharp when and where he presses down. What of his eyes, then? His reflection? His deathly aversion to sunlight or running water?

It's too much to hope for. The next jolt from his pulse makes him certain he'll be sick, and he has to suck in air through his nostrils over the hard clap of his fingertips across his mouth when he doubles over just to keep it a suspicion, rather than fact. When he glances back up, it's with a question on his lips.
]

Did he change you?

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