bass-boosted whitney houston intensifies in the distance;

[doggish]

Comments

[doggish]

"In my pocket, where he cannot use it to get into any further mischief".

And if he wishes to contact you, he can text me, as I will be certain to rush to court to deliver the message personally, or at least rush to a landline to call the court. As people used to do in civilized times.

But I'll keep your streak up on whatever silly games you have, if you ask nicely. Mana Crunch or whatever it is you're currently obsessed with.

[illithidnapped]

[Ohhh he'll mana crunch you. Just you wait.

Or....something, look, that sounded far more threatening when he initially thought of it. Less so when he's dwelling on it.]

And what mischief, praytell, will you admit I've been up to when he inevitably asks what inspired this punishment in the first place?

[doggish]

[Shit. He hadn't actually thought about that.]

You talked back to me.

Repeatedly.

[doggish]

[No, that isn't enough. Think, Fenris!]

And tried to stab Petras over a dispute about

[doggish]

[Uh]

[doggish]

fashion.

[Nailed it.]

[illithidnapped]

STAB him?

How in the hells was he dressed- in the skin of every lover I've ever had?

[doggish]

He's too skinny for that, it would never work.

And you threatened to stab him last week because he stole the last of your honey drops. And then because he didn't appreciate them as he ate them.

You also threatened to stab me if I didn't defend your honor.

You were in a particularly stabby mood.

[They were also all very high, so.]

[illithidnapped]

I don't remember that.

[Did he say that?? Strewth, how much elfroot did he smoke?]

2/2

[illithidnapped]

[










....unless....]



Are you putting me on?

[doggish]

[God, he laughs for that pause, just a little.]

This was just before the Waterdeep Fashion Show came on the holovision and you all laughed yourselves sick, which may have driven it from memory.

2/2

[doggish]

How did you do that? Make your font small?

[illithidnapped]

Oh well. That would explain it.



shorten my sentence and I'll teach you. ♡

[doggish]

[Hmm.]

Three days, if you teach me how to do that heart too.

And those faces. How do you do the faces? Not the emoji.

[illithidnapped]

(๑･̑◡･̑๑)these ones? ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Who are you going to use them on?

[doggish]

You, my love.

2/2

[doggish]

And Leon. He has a surprisingly in-depth knowledge of tactics; I have enjoyed texting him lately.

[It's a lot of medieval siege weaponry memes.]

[illithidnapped]

[Oh, he's flattered enough to blush. Oh, he— ]

Leon??

[doggish]

Onufrio.

With the long hair?

[illithidnapped]

I

KNOW

WHO

HE

IS.

[doggish]

My mistake. You seemed confused.

You text him too on occasion, true or false?

(And Dal, on the very rare occasion she has something of yours you've forgotten at her house).

[illithidnapped]

Of course I do, but



that's different!

[doggish]

Tell me how.

[illithidnapped]

Because BATTLE TACTICS for one

That man was born with just as many silver spoons in his mouth as I have- he doesn't know a damned thing about combat, he's just showing off.

Probably hoping to get you round his arm too

[doggish]

Oh, is he now? Through the cunning use of discussing battle tactics? It's a fitting ploy, I'll admit.

And what's to stop him from trying to get you in his bed, little magistrate? Shall I pour jealously over all your group texts, or does he save his most sordid insinuations for a private line?

Besides: from what Violet has taunted, it used to be you and Petras who would tangle tongues by the end of the night . . .

[Like, does he believe it, no, but let him have his revenge.]