bass-boosted whitney houston intensifies in the distance;

[doggish]

Comments

2/2

[illithidnapped]

but quick question before we move on: do those priorities include an apology handjob?

[doggish]

[He has, in fact, looked over those photographs. He's looked over them several times, though he hasn't dared save them to his phone (for he isn't foolish enough to be caught that way, one, and two, he isn't fully certain Astarion won't get a notification someone's taken a screenshot, and his wayward charge has more than enough ego already). And he's looking over those photos once more now, though his scowl returns in full force as Astarion texts him back.]

Do you truly imagine this can be solved with a handjob and a false apology? Little magistrate, the punishment doesn't begin to fit the crime. Though rest assured I have something planned already.

[doggish]

I'm taking your phone away for a week, to begin with.

[Old man indeed.]

3/3

[doggish]

Now tell me what you mean when you say it isn't Instagram. It is. You set up my account yourself.

[He has no profile picture and literally two followers, because Petras thinks he might catch Fenris uploading something he shouldn't.]

And that doesn't mean someone won't use those photos against you— especially if they're your age.

[illithidnapped]

[Well now Astarion's excited— about the punishment, that is. Not the taking-away-his-phone thing.

But surely that's just hyperbolic.]

It's the maginet, my love. Emphasis on magi-ck. Crafty souls like us have ways of skirting any rigorous attempts at monitoring by our much more distracted progenitors.

In other words, we use a secondary app that taps into an alternate plane of reality where we don't exist, so that we can safely register completely separate accounts under our real names without anyone being the wiser-

unless you've also been added on said app and know exactly what to look for, like I did for you.

[It's a simple as 1....2....hackingintothemultiverseonaharmlessscale.]

And no, I'm not pulling your leg this time. What I did before, I couldn't help. Not when you were being so cute.

Cross my heart, this is actually how it works.

[doggish]

[He squints down at his phone. It sounds reasonable enough— or at least, he's heard enough talk from Danarius and his ilk to know that such a thing is perfectly feasible. But still . . .]

Delete them anyway.

It's still a risk. I do not trust six hundred people to be able to keep their mouths shut. I barely trust your six friends to keep their mouths shut, though they have admittedly done a somewhat decent job thusfar. But you were not subtle in any of those photographs.

It's up to a thousand likes now, Astarion.

[. . .]

And I was not cute. You were being a nuisance, do not play it off. I'm still taking your phone.

when I realize sleepy me went accidentally all italics

[illithidnapped]

It should have more. You looked exceedingly handsome all wrapped up in liquor and dreams

2/2

[illithidnapped]

what

what do you mean you're still taking my phone

oh come on how are we to keep in touch if you can't message me? call me? you'll only be hurting yourself in this.

[doggish]

[There's the reaction he was looking for, and Fenris feels a petty sense of self-satisfaction as he smirks down at his phone.]

You're away from me for 8 hours at the most. My heart will go on.

[illithidnapped]

[That's it. The doe act is getting dropped, you're getting the magistrate end of the tiger now, Fenris. You've brought this on yourself for....

....not letting him torture you and do whatever he wants.]

Well what if my father asks where it's gone.

[doggish]

"In my pocket, where he cannot use it to get into any further mischief".

And if he wishes to contact you, he can text me, as I will be certain to rush to court to deliver the message personally, or at least rush to a landline to call the court. As people used to do in civilized times.

But I'll keep your streak up on whatever silly games you have, if you ask nicely. Mana Crunch or whatever it is you're currently obsessed with.

[illithidnapped]

[Ohhh he'll mana crunch you. Just you wait.

Or....something, look, that sounded far more threatening when he initially thought of it. Less so when he's dwelling on it.]

And what mischief, praytell, will you admit I've been up to when he inevitably asks what inspired this punishment in the first place?

[doggish]

[Shit. He hadn't actually thought about that.]

You talked back to me.

Repeatedly.

[doggish]

[No, that isn't enough. Think, Fenris!]

And tried to stab Petras over a dispute about

[doggish]

[Uh]

[doggish]

fashion.

[Nailed it.]

[illithidnapped]

STAB him?

How in the hells was he dressed- in the skin of every lover I've ever had?

[doggish]

He's too skinny for that, it would never work.

And you threatened to stab him last week because he stole the last of your honey drops. And then because he didn't appreciate them as he ate them.

You also threatened to stab me if I didn't defend your honor.

You were in a particularly stabby mood.

[They were also all very high, so.]

[illithidnapped]

I don't remember that.

[Did he say that?? Strewth, how much elfroot did he smoke?]

2/2

[illithidnapped]

[










....unless....]



Are you putting me on?

[doggish]

[God, he laughs for that pause, just a little.]

This was just before the Waterdeep Fashion Show came on the holovision and you all laughed yourselves sick, which may have driven it from memory.

2/2

[doggish]

How did you do that? Make your font small?

[illithidnapped]

Oh well. That would explain it.



shorten my sentence and I'll teach you. ♡

[doggish]

[Hmm.]

Three days, if you teach me how to do that heart too.

And those faces. How do you do the faces? Not the emoji.

[illithidnapped]

(๑･̑◡･̑๑)these ones? ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Who are you going to use them on?